Nouveau retro pop-rock music:
Definitely different!!
Free MP3s!!


Back to Rants and Raves

How To Absolutely 100 % Guarantee A Lifetime Customer For Your Product!!

By Bruce of Stone Marmot

Oct. 29, 2012

I have often been told that the number one objective of any business in a capitalist society is to maximize profit. This is usually accomplished by maximizing your sales while minimizing your expenses. But the behavior of many companies seems to indicate that this isn't always their primary objective. The behavior of many companies seems to indicate that their number one objective is to maximize the number of lifetime customers. And, judging from their behavior, many of these companies have found and are practicing the ultimate means to absolutely 100 % guarantee that any customer of theirs is a lifelong customer.

What is this sure-fire, absolutely 100 % guaranteed means of assuring that anyone who buys your product is a customer of yours for the rest of their life? After a customer buys your product, kill them.

The tobacco industry was one of the first to appear to adopt this strategy. The illegal drug industry also appears to have been practicing this for a long time. Even the legal drug industry, with all the warnings of all the potential dire consequences of using their products, appears to have started adopting this strategy. Many other companies, such as manufacturers of genetically modified organisms, herbicides, pesticides, and nanotechnology-based products, who rush products to market with little or no testing to see if their products are safe, appear to have adopted this marketing strategy. Even the fossil fuel industries, such as oil, coal, and natural gas industries, who deny the environmental impacts of the massive production and use of their products, appear to be adopting this strategy.

I would think that companies who practice this marketing strategy would soon run out of potential customers. This isn't much of a problem for a local company, at least not in the near term. They could always expand their marketing to their whole region, then state or province, then country, then continent, then the whole world. But many companies who practice this marketing strategy are already international companies marketing to the whole world. Where do they see their future customers coming from?

Maybe these companies have discovered other markets and the means to reach them that they are not telling us about, such as . . . other planets . . . or galaxies . . . or dimensions . . . or time-lines. Hmmm, makes you wonder what else they might be hiding from us.

Back to Rants and Raves

© 2007-20012 Stone Marmot Enterprises, all rights reserved.